Showing Up & Holding Space
The simple act of Showing Up can be one of the most powerful things you do as a BYEP mentor. Although a simple concept, the act of being accountable to yourself, your group, and your commitments can affect your life and those around you in big ways. In the first week of Mentor Professional Development, Program Manager Brian Koch helped mentors explore this idea of Showing Up. The following are a list of discussion questions Brian posed to mentors:
Why is it important to show up for BYEP or life in general?
How have people shown up for you in your life? How did that feel?
Was there a time when someone didn’t show up for you or left you feeling let down?
What are the barriers that have kept you from showing up in the past?
How can you take responsibility in those situations where you can’t be present?
How can you be compassionate to yourself when you’ve made a mistake in this area?
Do participants in your group ever struggle to show up? How can you support them and empathize with their situations?
You’ve Shown Up…Now What?
In the second week of Mentor Professional Development, Brian explored the idea of Holding Space. Holding space for our participants is an important skill that we ask our mentors to practice. Here are 5 tips to help you hold space for someone else better:
Refocus your listening- practice active listening and be sure you are not waiting to respond, but instead repeating and rephrasing what they say as well as validating what they are feeling.
Try not to go straight to problem solving- the intention is to be there for the other person instead of trying to fix their problems.
Don’t make yourself the center of attention- resist the urge to relate what the person is saying to your own life unless you want to share something because you think it will help the other person.
Accept and believe what they are saying - it is often hard to be vulnerable and open with someone else, especially about sensitive issues. Remind the person who is sharing with you that you trust and believe their knowledge and intuition.
Be open to whatever emotions come up - emotions can be confusing and unpredictable. Instead of thinking the person or yourself should feel a certain way, make space for the conversation and people’s responses to evolve naturally.