The Anatomy of Trust
Thank you for an incredible winter season!
Food for Thought…
Today’s inspiration came from my favorite podcast, “Supersoul Conversations” hosted by Oprah. If you’re ever feeling utterly human I highly recommend exploring what this podcast has to offer. This week’s episode featured Dr. Brené Brown. If you’ve never heard of her, Brené has spent the last two decades researching courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She’s taken the world by storm by encouraging individuals to own their stories and reframe the way we approach our emotions. The episode starts with Brené sharing her initial disbelief when the data suggested that trust is indeed built in the smallest of moments. Let’s take a second to pause here and consider what that means as a mentor. It means that the moments you chose to share a bus seat with a kid, or follow up with them regarding something they said last week, really really really mattered. When someone experiences trauma it affects their ability to form secure relationships. Every time you showed up when you said you were going to, you enforced a positive experience giving participants the opportunity to create new neural pathways. This repetition of positive experiences (trust building moments) overtime strengthens new neural pathways and creates space for individuals to form secure and safe attachments (HUGE DEAL). Brené has conveniently dissected this process into an easily digestible acronym: B.R.A.V.I.N.G. If you have the time, the episode is worth watching. If not, I wrote a short synapses below.
TRUST is….
Choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else.
DISTRUST IS…
What I have shared with you that is important to me is not safe with you.
B.R.A.V.I.N.G
Boundaries: You respect my boundaries and when you’re not clear about what’s okay, and not okay, you ask. You’re willing to say no.
Reliability: You do what you say you’ll do over and over and over again. Think of it as a reliability scale, if you got on it 100 times it would never waiver. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.
Accountability: Own it, apologize for it, and make amends. Hold this space for others and expect they will do the same for you.
Vault: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential.
Integrity: Choosing courage over comfort. Choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. Practicing your values not just professing your values.
Non-Judgement: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgement.
Generosity: You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words, and actions, of others.